mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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