So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
