State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
