I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Someone shattered a urinal.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
