I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Randomize
