Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
