Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
