Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
