we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i drank out of a bidet.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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