the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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