I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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