Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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