She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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