I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
