Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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