I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
