She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
How external is "for external use only"?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
