thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
