if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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