If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
