I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
