My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
