Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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