yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
