I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
