A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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