would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
The Olympian is in my bed
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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