ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
you traded sex for a burrito?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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