she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
