you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
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