I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
