I wish I could punch you in the face.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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