We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
