thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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