Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
