i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
