If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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