I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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