I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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