oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
