Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
