hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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