I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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