Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Randomize
