Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
