do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
