I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
