My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
