I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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