You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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