i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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